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              放任式家庭孩子成才率最低

              作者:admin
              發布時間 2016年-04月-11日
              來源: 新啟航教育
              點擊:
              近期,“虎媽”的教育模式在美國引起強烈討論,而在中國,幾乎所有的媒體和老師又在告訴父母們要學著“快樂教育”和以鼓勵替代批評。面對“一張白紙”的孩子,父母到底應該
                  “中國式媽媽”,意指那些逼著孩子學習,考試成績一定要名列前茅,掌握這種那種技能,只講競爭,追求出人頭地的專制式家教,蔡美兒在某種程度上具有一定典型性。中國父母普遍對孩子期望過高,孩子負擔過重,在中國青少年研究中心的調查中發現,有54.7%的父母希望孩子得到博士學位,83.6%的中學生父母要求孩子考試要取得前15名的成績,這些數據和蔡美兒的要求比較一致,但顯然絕大多數的孩子是無法做到的,這樣必然給孩子帶來很大的壓力。
                
                “中國式媽媽”這一現象與我國的教育體制有關,但同時,中國文化中,的確也有一種望子成龍,望女成鳳的傳統,這使得美國的華人家庭特別重視孩子的學習。直到近年來,隨著獨生子女一代的發展,中國開始接受西方民主自由教育方式的影響,但是,很多家庭學習了西方保護孩子權利的一面,但卻沒有學習培養孩子責任的一面,導致孩子自由過多,發展出現問題。(勵志  www.lz13.cn)國際上研究發現,最高層次的家教是作風民主式的家庭,其成才率最高,專制家庭第二位,成才率最低的是放任式的家庭,蔡美兒就是的第二種方式,當然肯定比溺愛放任的家教好。但是蔡美兒的家教方式是不科學的,孩子不可能都有一流的水平,他們參加什么活動應該有自己的選擇權力,而且每個孩子都是千差萬別的,蔡美兒的教育理念沒有尊重這些最基本的原則。
                
                兒童長大的過程是一個社會化的過程,在這過程中有兩個顯著的特征不可忽視:一是群體性,兒童一定是在與同齡伙伴的交往中長大,是不可缺少的。二是實踐性,孩子是在體驗中長大的。中國的父母大多數只關注學習,這就讓孩子心靈上感到寂寞,他們最關心的問題沒人關心。
                
                “培養孩子健康人格、與孩子關系的好壞決定教育成敗、習慣決定命運、應與孩子一起成長”這些是我近年來最重要的教育觀點和建議。青春期的孩子,用命令的方法或簡單地要求是很難奏效的,因為他們認為自己長大了,叛逆心理也強了。我給父母們的建議是,發現孩子的夢想,引導孩子為實現自己的夢想而塑造自己。只有這樣,孩子或許會感到父母對自己的尊重,會為自己的夢想奮斗產生積極性。
                
                蔡美兒的家教方式有被妖魔化的可能,她的許多觀點和做法也是錯誤的,父母們不宜盲目學習借鑒。唯一有價值需要思考的是,愛孩子要敢于說不。孩子需要父母的權威,父母應當成為孩子人生的路標。
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