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              哪些話挫傷孩子的積極性

              作者:admin
              發布時間 2016年-05月-13日
              來源: 新啟航教育
              點擊:
              爸爸媽媽們有時跟孩子說話,想到哪就說出來了,沒有考慮到寶貝聽了后的感受。哪些話不能跟孩子說呢?
               點擊查看原圖
                   1.“你還小,你不行。”
                  在父母眼中,這是對孩子的保護。然而,在孩子成長過程中,不斷的發現并探索新鮮事物是孩子自主成長的過程。一旦父母挫傷了孩子挑戰未知事物的積極性,便會使孩子覺得自己想做什么都會被否定,喪失探索新事物的熱情,放棄自己的決定權。所以,父母應多鼓勵孩子,比如“如果想好了,就放手去試,爸爸媽媽會看著你。”給孩子信心和安全感。
                   2.“哪有,我們沒那么優秀。”
                  謙虛是傳統美德,但當孩子被表揚,父母的謙虛卻會使孩子感到沮喪,覺得自己并沒有獲得家人的認可。所以,當孩子被贊賞時,父母不要表現得過分謙虛,要肯定孩子的努力,給孩子信心。此時不妨這樣回答:“謝謝您對孩子的肯定,我們會繼續努力。”
                   3.“怎么這都干不了。”
                  生活中,很多大人認為理所應當或者非常簡單的事情對孩子則未必如此。所以,當孩子沒有做好某件事時,家長一定不要急躁,應耐心地給予鼓勵,給孩子再次嘗試的機會。此時,可以問孩子“感覺怎么樣?”,也可以鼓勵孩子,“你已經可以做……了,真棒!”
                     4.“你看看人家。”
                  也許,父母無意間的比較只是想讓孩子更有動力,但這會使孩子覺得父母更喜歡別人,總也看不到自己的優點,進而失去自信。每個孩子都是獨一無二的,若父母欣賞孩子并能適當鼓勵,會使孩子更加樂觀自信。相同情況下,父母可以說“我們知道你已經在努力了,加油。”幫孩子建立自信。
                     5.“你再不好好學習,以后掃垃圾去。”
                  類似的話父母也許說者無心,可孩子對未來的認知并不明確,往往會放在心上并感到壓力,直接影響孩子的性格發展。其實,父母可以跟孩子說“我們一起學習吧。”陪孩子一起發現學習的樂趣。
                     6.“爸爸媽媽那么累都是為了你。”
                  父母常會苦口婆心的勸孩子上進,懂得感恩,可這樣的方式只會讓孩子過早地感受到壓力,如果自己有一點沒做好就會覺得對不起父母。從而影響其長期性格發展。此時,父母可讓孩子為自己做些力所能及的小事,如下班回家要求孩子,“給爸爸倒杯水好嗎?” 
                     7.“等你成績好了,再……”
                  這會使孩子覺得成績不好就沒有資格要求其他東西。這種無資格感,會使孩子更加自卑。其實,父母可以引導孩子,“我們擔心……會影響你的成績,你覺得呢?”
                     8.“你再……我就……”
                  面對分歧,威脅和專斷的做法除了能顯示家長的權威,不但起不到作用,還會增加孩子的逆反心理。此時,不如與孩子一起商量,讓他感到被尊重、被理解,如“是不是這樣會更好?”
                     9.“你是第一名,你是最棒的。”
                  過度強調名次會使孩子感到擔心:如果下次不是第一名,家長會不會不高興?所以,在孩子取得成績時,父母更應關注和贊美孩子的努力,而非成績,夸獎孩子時,可以換個說法:“你一直在努力,我們為你驕傲。”
                    10.“早說過這樣不行。”
                  當孩子失敗時,這類語言只會讓孩子更加氣餒,更不愿和父母交流。家長的肯定是孩子前進的動力,所以,父母應對孩子充滿信心。當孩子遭遇失敗時,不妨說“我們一起分析原因,下次一定會更好。”
               
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