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              真愛源于真懂

              作者:admin
              發布時間 2016年-04月-11日
              來源: 新啟航教育
              點擊:
              愛是教育的靈魂,沒有愛就沒有教育。教育是用心靈塑造心靈的事業。
                 經常聽教師這樣說學生:“你怎么這樣不理解我呢,都是為了你好,你現在不明白,等到將來長大就懂了。”經常聽家長這樣和孩子說:“我們大人省吃儉用都是為了你,你應該這樣應該那樣,你為什么就不聽呢?”現實中我們的家長和教師做了許多自己認為是為了學生好的事情,以表達我們對孩子的真愛,但結果卻事與愿違,事倍功半,原因何在呢?
                   
                  著名女性情感心理作家蘇芩說過這樣一段話:“懂你的人,會用你所需要的方式去愛你。不懂你的人,會用他所需要的方式去愛你。于是,懂你的人,常是事半功倍,他愛得自如,你受得幸福。不懂你的人,常是事倍功半,他愛得吃力,你受得辛苦。兩個人的世界里,懂比愛,更難做到。”我感覺很有道理。作為一個情感作家闡述的雖然是男女之間的懂與愛的關系,但我認為她揭示出了懂與愛的普遍關系,作為我們教育工作者,應該好好思考這個問題。
                 
                  我們經常說愛是教育的靈魂,沒有愛就沒有教育。教育是用心靈塑造心靈的事業。教育是太陽底下最光輝的事業等等,這些都說明愛在教育工作中的重要性。為什么我們滿腔熱情的去做一些事情卻事倍功半呢?而有些懂教育的人沒有我們那樣忙碌卻能夠事半功倍呢?我們經常說方法不對。其實就是我們的真情沒有通過理性的行動表達出來。那么什么是理性的行為呢?就是給予對方需要的東西,如果你能夠給予對方需要的東西,你就必須知道他需要什么?也就是你必須懂他,不懂就不能給別人需要的東西,所以不論你主觀愿望多么好,客觀上的效果都會大打折扣,就會事倍功半。
                 
                  生活往往是這樣的,你愿意為懂你的人做任何你能夠做的他所需要的事情,而不懂你的人對你做多少事情你都沒有興趣去接受。 我們沒有辦法去愛我們不懂的東西。或者說我們沒有能力去愛我們不懂的東西。如果我們想愛對方,那我們就必須去讀對方,去懂對方,知道他們的內心需要什么,按照他們需要的方式去愛他們。
                 
                  我們做教育的人,往往是不從學生的需要出發,按照自己的方式去要求學生做事情,結果學生很反感,我們為此很苦惱,我們一心一意為了他們好,為什么還事倍功半呢?原因是我們還不懂他們,我們是用我們自己的方式去愛他們。所以愛與被愛都很累。
                 
                  也許你會說孩子還小,他們懂什么?也不能孩子需要什么就給予他們什么啊。不錯,真正的愛是你能夠按照孩子的方式讓他們接受應該接受的正確東西,或者說好的教育工作者能夠激發學生正確需要。然后按照他的方式給予他所需要的東西。
                 
                   真正的愛必須源于真懂,如果我們不懂對方,只是有一顆樸素的愛心,沒有理性的愛和動物的感情沒有什么區別,這種愛不能變成有效的行動,也不能變成強大的精神力量,所以要想真愛就必須真懂,我們要用我們的愛心去讀孩子們的內心,然后把愛變成理性的行動。
                   千萬別去愛自己不懂的。
                   千萬要記住用心去讀你必須愛的東西。
                   千萬不要接受不懂你的人給你的愛。
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